Midlife baby boom

By the age of 43, Jane*, of Port Elizabeth, thought it was unlikely she’d have a baby. “I had never been pregnant,” says Jane, whose adopted daughter was then nine. “My husband and I had been going our merry way with unprotected sex for years.” But when Jane started craving gherkins, she knew something was up. At an age when many women are parenting teens, she was preparing for a newborn. “I went from shock to being pleased with the idea,” says Jane, now 49.

After her son was born, Jane discovered that her age gave her an outlook on mothering that she probably wouldn’t have had if she had been younger. “I don’t worry about being the best mother in the world,” she says. “I’m able to just enjoy him for who he is. I’m just glad he’s here and I’m having this experience.”

Record numbers of women over 40 are having babies. We all know someone who has had a baby in her 40s. "We're seeing over-40 pregnancies more often, and more that are successful," says Dr Barbara O’Brien, a maternal-foetal medicine specialist. Better medical care, including increasingly successful infertility treatment, has improved older women’s chances of conceiving and having a healthy baby. Knowing this, older women are more willing to take a chance on pregnancy. Women over 40 also have an unintended-pregnancy rate that’s second only to very young women.

In some respects, age is an asset, not a liability. "You’re so much more emotionally ready to be a parent," says Dr Tracy Gaudet, co-author of Body, Soul, and Baby (Bantam). "I see in my older patients that they have more life experience – they’re more likely to honour pregnancy as the sacred experience it is."

Legitimate concerns:
A later-in-life pregnancy tends to entail more complications, however. “It does pose some substantial concern for women and their babies,” says Dr Alan Fleischman. Over-40 mothers are between two and five per cent more likely than younger women to experience gestational diabetes, placental abnormalities, high blood pressure, miscarriage and stillbirth. Their offspring are at higher risk for genetic disorders, premature birth and low birth weight. Age can also complicate breastfeeding, says Dr Kathy Leeper. In her experience, some older mothers have milk-supply issues, and this is particularly likely in women who needed medical assistance to become or stay pregnant.

Hurdling the age obstacle:
Any pregnant woman over 35 is considered of 'advanced maternal age,' meaning the medical establishment considers her pregnancy at high risk for complications. But that doesn’t mean an individual woman is destined to have a problem pregnancy. “It’s a label, not a diagnosis,” Dr Fleischman says, adding that older women may need a few extra prenatal exams.

Lifestyle choices

If you’re over 40, you can boost your odds of having a healthy pregnancy by making smart lifestyle choices:

• Be as healthy as you can before you conceive. See your doctor for a pre-conception check-up; make sure all your existing health problems, such as diabetes or thyroid problems, are under control; give up smoking; cut caffeine to two cups a day; make sure your weight is normal; start taking prenatal vitamins with at least 400 micrograms of folic acid.


• Take extra-good care of yourself during pregnancy. Eat well, exercise, gain a healthy amount of weight, see your doctor for prenatal visits, and keep your blood pressure and blood sugar under control.


• Give yourself a break when you feel worn out. Older women are more established in their routines, and they tend to want to continue doing everything they did prior to pregnancy. Be realistic about what you can do and what you need to give up, maybe only temporarily.


• Find a local lactation consultant before delivery so you’ll be able to get breastfeeding help quickly.


• A Caesarean isn’t your only option. Over-40 mothers are more likely to have a C-section because of their higher rates of multiple births and medical complications, but you shouldn’t need one unless it’s medically necessary.


• Build a support group of other new mothers, even if they’re much younger. You may think you have nothing in common with women half your age, but once you start talking pregnancy, the age difference will matter less.

More chance of twins

Did you know? The chance that a woman will conceive multiples rises after the age of 40, even without fertility treatment.

Two years ago, when she was 45, Lindsay Cook and her second husband, John, had twin “miracles”, Dean and Zane. "I'd had two miscarriages, so we decided to have IVF and, after one treatment (I was one of the lucky ones!) I discovered I was pregnant. I had a wonderful pregnancy with no problems carrying the two babies but without the love and support of John and my two grown-up children, Blaize and Melody, I don’t think I would have coped so well."

"In the last months, I found it more comfortable sleeping sideways on our large sofa than I did sleeping in a bed, where I used to wake up on my back, struggling to breathe because of the weight pressing on my air supply. I did not have an amnio, as it is a greater risk to a twin pregnancy, but I did have more scans than usual and more blood tests. "At 34 weeks, my legs started to swell, which made walking difficult. At the time, I was teaching children cooking and I could not let my students down but after the lesson they used to sit me down and massage my legs for me – great kids."

"Our boys were born at 36 weeks by Caesarean section with both John and 21-year-old daughter, Melody, in the theatre; not many mothers get to share such a special moment with their grown-up daughter. These little boys are new beginnings. John is an only child and I couldn’t deny him the pleasure of being a father. There is no greater love than that of a child."

"The difference between the older children and these are that with the older ones we were so busy trying to put food on the table and paying bills that the children just fitted in with us and our plans. We were very young; I was 19 when my son was born – a child myself."

"My older children are like friends as we all grew up together. Blaize is my strength and Melody is my fun. With the boys, we are slower, steadier and more protective. They tend to lead the way and we give in more to their needs. Also, a major difference is the ability to access so much information over the Internet from home. After looking at the fantastic things on the market for babies today that were not around with my first two, I found only bath-time lacking. So we came up with a solution, our Splashtime Bathtime bath cushion (pictured). We developed it for the safety and wellbeing of the boys; before, I would have left it up to someone else to figure something out."

"There are pros and cons to being a young and older mom but I have been very lucky to have the experience of both. I would not change anything about my four wonderful children and in January I am going to become a grandmother. I cannot wait."