postive attitude

Will you have a healthy baby? Will you be a good mother?
While fretting is normal during such an important – and novel – time in your life, the best thing for you and your baby is to try to accentuate the positive. “Excessive worrying and negative feelings take a physical, mental and emotional toll on a pregnant woman,” says Dr Irene Aga.
“A woman with a positive attitude can focus on eating well, sleeping enough and staying active. She is also able to focus on the miraculous changes within her body and on the developing relationship with her unborn infant.”

Having a positive attitude doesn’t mean burying your head in the sand. You experience a lot of changes during pregnancy, many of which understandably cause stress. “It is not  possible for a  pregnant woman to  ignore these issues,” Dr Aga says. “She can, however,  control how she handles stress. Exercise, prayer and meditation are all helpful. I also encourage women to discuss  their concerns with their partner, family and  doctor and to seek the support they need.”

So instead of filling your brain with energy- and spirit-draining negative thoughts – “I can’t do this,” “I’m afraid of that” – think positively with the help of our seven bold affirmations. They can help you overcome negative mental hurdles and empower you to have a healthy, happy and successful pregnancy.

Breaking bad habits

OLD THINKING “I’m already pregnant, so it’s too late to change my unhealthy habits.”

BOLD THINKING “It’s never too late to give my baby a healthy start.”

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW A new study conducted in the US found that pregnant women who received treatment for cigarette, alcohol or drug abuse early in their pregnancy achieved the same outcomes, in terms of their babies’ health and their own, as women with no substance-abuse problems.

“Quitting smoking, stopping alcohol and improving your nutritional status at any time all benefit the pregnancy as well as your long-term health,” says Dr Eva Pressman. For example, smoking nearly doubles the risk of having a low-birth-weight baby. But, if you quit even by the end of your second trimester, you are no more likely to have a low-birth-weight baby than a woman who never smoked.
If you need help breaking bad habits, ask your doctor for a referral to a tobacco-, drug- or alcohol-cessation programme or, if junk food is your vice, a registered dietitian.

Getting support

OLD THINKING “I don’t have lots of family or other support, so I’m on my own.”

BOLD THINKING “I can start building a support network now so I’ll have the help I need before the baby arrives.”

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW Pregnancy, delivery and new motherhood are so much easier when you have a “tribe” behind you. If you don’t have the built-in support of family, friends and neighbours, start working now to put one in place.

“There are several places and ways a pregnant woman might find support and possibly new friends,” says midwife Tina London. Open up to people in your prenatal yoga, breastfeeding and childbirth education classes, your neighbourhood and church. “Many communities have organisations with spaces dedicated to parents mingling and children playing,” London says. When you find other women who are short on support, reach out and start building a network.

You can be a good parent

OLD THINKING “I had lousy parents who were bad role models, so I’m going to be one, too.”

BOLD THINKING “I can be the parent I want to be.”

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW If you’re feeling overwhelmed about becoming a parent, relax – it’s a normal feeling. “You probably will be overwhelmed by motherhood – all the best moms are,” says Aga. If you’re not sure how to be a good parent, educate yourself. Get trustworthy child-care information from authoritative books and classes, and spend time with the real experts – people whose parenting style you admire.

“Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it,” Aga adds. Talk to other new mothers. It is comforting to hear how others have dealt with the difficulty of being a new mom.”

Overcoming physical obstacles

OLD THINKING “My weight or health problems are going to make my pregnancy difficult.”

BOLD THINKING “With my caregiver’s help, I can tackle my medical problems and have a healthy pregnancy.”

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW If you’re overweight, sedentary or have a pre-existing health condition such as diabetes or thyroid disease, talk with your doctor right away about addressing these concerns. Overweight women can safely gain as little as seven kilos with smart eating and exercise habit; obese women, even less.

Don’t believe the old thinking about not starting an exercise programme during pregnancy. “It would probably not be wise to begin a very aggressive aerobic regimen, but light walking is always a good idea if the pregnancy is uncomplicated,” says Dr Edmund Funai. “Your body is very good at telling you when you are doing too much.”

As for any pre-existing medical conditions you may have: make sure you’re getting the care you need. “It is important to be followed by an obstetrician who manages high-risk pregnancies,” says Dr Linda Szymanski. “Dialogue and co-management among the obstetrician and other care providers during pregnancy is critical.”

Believing you'll all be fine

OLD THINKING “I just know something’s going to go wrong with my pregnancy or my baby.”

BOLD THINKING “The odds are stacked in my and my baby’s favour.”

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW Pregnancy complications and birth defects are every pregnant woman’s nightmare. But the truth is that both are relatively rare, particularly if you eat right, exercise, take prenatal vitamins and get good prenatal care.

“The majority of all pregnancies – better than 90 per cent – go on to a healthy outcome once you pass the first trimester,” says Dr Funai. “And for the other 10 per cent or so that are complicated, there have been some great advances in the care of problems such as hypertension and diabetes, so that most of these women do well, too.” As for birth defects, only one out of 33 babies has one, and many are very minor and can be ignored or corrected.

Delivery plan fears

OLD THINKING “If I end up having to get an epidural or a Caesarean section, my dream of having a meaningful delivery will be ruined.”

BOLD THINKING “I can have a positive delivery experience even if things don’t go exactly as planned.”

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW You probably have very specific ideas about where and how you want to give birth, whether you want pain medication and how you want to deliver. Midwives and doctors try hard to honour these preferences. But complications sometimes arise and, even the best-planned natural delivery can go high-tech faster than you can say “Gimme an epidural!” It’s normal to feel disappointed if you require an unexpected pain blocker or a C-section; but instead of thinking of it as a failure, consider it an alternate path for a safe delivery.

Deliveries cannot be choreographed ahead of time, explains Dr Tracy Flanagan. “How a woman’s labour will progress and how the baby is doing inside the womb can change at any time during labour,” she says. “Having a discussion about these possibilities with your care provider ahead of time can help you prepare.”

Regardless of how it transpires, you can still feel great about your baby’s birth. Focus on flexibility, prepare yourself for the possibilities that might materialise and remember the number one goal – a healthy baby and mom.

Think you can't afford a baby?

OLD THINKING “I’m broke now. How can I cover the expenses of having a child?”

BOLD THINKING “With smart planning, I can figure out a way to get my finances in order.”

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW One of the best money savers is buying used baby clothes, toys and equipment instead of new – babies don’t care if they’re wearing hand-me-down outfits. You can also mix pricey items with more affordable picks. Just make sure if you use second-hand items that they meet the latest safety standards.

Do not forget to notify your medical aid that you are pregnant and before you are admitted to hospital. Once baby has been born, notify your medical aid as soon as possible.

3 ways to change your thinking

Psychologists use a three-step process called cognitive restructuring to teach their patients how to turn negative thoughts around. According to Dr Alice Domar, here’s how the process works:

• Identify your negative thoughts. What, specifically, is worrying you? Try to cut through the clutter and noise in your head.
  
  
• Challenge your negative thoughts. Put them to the test. Are they true? Are you exaggerating their negative aspect? Are you engaging in all-or-nothing thinking? Is it really as bad as it seems?
  
  
• Restructure your thoughts. Push away the distortions and re-create the thought in a way that worries you less.

For example, if you fear giving birth will be so painful that you won’t be able to stand it, restructure your thought in this way: “I know labour and delivery are painful, but with the relaxation techniques I’m learning in my childbirth class, my partner’s support and my doctor’s promise that I can have an epidural if I need one, I’ll be able to handle the pain.”

Be Positive!
Feeling overwhelmed by impending parenthood? Look at it as a reassuring sign that you’ll be a good mother.

Pregnancy, delivery and new motherhood are so much easier when you have the support of your “tribe” behind you.

Instead of thinking of an unwanted C-section or epidural as a failure, consider it a path to a safe delivery.