Give yourself a break!

Everyone tells you that with a newborn in the house you’ll battle to get enough sleep but no-one mentions the little things – like how hard it is to take a shower or make a meal. But, you can’t take care of someone else from a place of depletion,” says Dr Gayle Peterson, author of Making Healthy Families. “Ask yourself: what do I need to do for myself so that I have something to give my child?”

To start, resolve to give yourself a break. “Strive to be a ‘good enough’ parent, not a perfect one,” Dr Peterson suggests. Accept that you’ll inevitably make mistakes as you learn about your newborn and that, if you don’t get it right sometimes, that’s OK. Your baby will learn to adapt to these frustrations. And you’ll be best able to handle these frustrations if you feel supported. Tell the people in your life how they can help.

Schedule time for your partner to care for the baby; ask friends to drop off dinner, pick up groceries or clean the house. Don’t be shy to let your wishes be known: if you want visitors, tell everyone; if you don’t, make your partner the gatekeeper. “To be the best mother you can be, you need to feel cared for and loved,” says Dr Peterson.

“Pregnancy and delivery take a toll on your body, and you will heal more quickly if you baby yourself,” says obstetrician Dr Teresa Hoffman. Rest as much as you can, drink plenty of fluids (especially if you’re breastfeeding) and keep taking your prenatal vitamin.

Self-care tips

If you had a vaginal delivery:

KEEP IT CLEAN Shower daily if you had a perineal tear or episiotomy. For the first week, also use a spray bottle filled with warm water to clean the area after going to the loo.
KEEP IT COMFY If you didn’t have a perineal tear or episiotomy, it’s safe to take a daily sitz bath (sit in 5cm of warm water) to soothe your perineum and/or haemorrhoids. Also, apply witch-hazel pads to your nether region.
AVOID THE BIG DIP Don’t take a full bath until six weeks after delivery, when your cervix is fully closed.
KEEP THINGS MOVING To prevent constipation, request stool softeners before you leave the hospital. Try milk of magnesia if you haven’t had a bowel movement for four days.
SAY YES TO DRUGS You can ease post-delivery aches and pains with a heating pad and 800 milligrams of ibuprofen up to three times a day.
STICK ’EM UP Elevate your legs to ease swelling.
PICK UP THE PHONE Call your doctor if you experience any worsening of pain or bleeding, or if you develop a fever.

If you had a Caesarean section:

GET WET Shower daily to keep the incision site clean; avoid baths until your doctor gives you the OK.
KEEP IT TOGETHER Ask your doctor about wearing an abdominal binder; even coughing or sneezing can strain your stitches.
SOFTEN THINGS UP Surgery, coupled with post-operative pain medication, may slow your intestinal processes; the result can be constipation that lasts up to one week. Begin taking stool softeners immediately. After three days, take milk of magnesia three times a day. Call your doctor if you go six days without having a bowel movement. Call the doctor if you develop a fever or increased soreness, tearing or swelling at the incision site.

Safeguard your sleep

Don’t be surprised if you find your snooze time drastically diminished: many new moms get no more than four to seven hours of sleep a night, much of that in one- to three-hour spurts.

Here are four ways to get your rest:
BE A FEEDING TEAM After four weeks, ask your partner to give the baby a bottle of pumped breast milk at one night-time feeding so you can get a chunk of uninterrupted sleep. Don’t introduce a bottle before then; doing so can cause nipple confusion.
SLEEP NEAR YOUR BABY To help both of you drift off quickly after feedings, nurse your baby in your bed and then return him to his or her cot. Or use a co-sleeper cot. Just make sure there are no loose blankets or pillows around.
GET IT WHEN YOU CAN Sleep during your baby’s longest stretch, even if it starts at 5pm.
MAKE FRIENDS WITH NAPS Nap when the baby naps; dirty dishes be damned. If you find you’re still not getting enough sleep, take heart: studies suggest that new moms cope with sleep deprivation better than other people do, says Dr Carolyn D’Ambrosio.